census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
