we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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