The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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