i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
