used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
