return my video game
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
