Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
