I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
