Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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