sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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