If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
