Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
