Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
