Already got asked if we're dating
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
