My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
third nipple confirmed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
