imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
