were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
