omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
