I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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