id be glad to
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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