Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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