Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's shark week go big or go home
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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