I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize