so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
