Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
foreskin is a definite game changer
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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