just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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