yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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