Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
