it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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