We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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