Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
