no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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