He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize