i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
