He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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