Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
