when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
