Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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