This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize