I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
