walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
