I think i peed on brittanys purse
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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