as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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