My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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