If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
