Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
