Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
