I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
