bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
