Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize