why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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