Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
