D3 body, D1 cock
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
