im drinking this country out of the recession.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
