weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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