i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
