At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
